I’m Back…For Real This Time!

Greetings WordPress!

It’s me! No, like really.  It’s me, and I’ll be around for a bit this time.  See, I like WordPress.  I actually feel like I like it better than xanga, but I know so many people on Xanga that it makes it convenient.  Maybe I’ll pull some of them over this way.  We’ll see.

Anywhos, in case my faithful readers didn’t know, I’m in seminary.  Yes, I am a student at THEE Howard University School of Divinity.  It’s been an enlightening experience thus far.  It’s challenged my faith in dramatic ways.  Sometimes, I’ll admit, it even made me question why I believe what I believe.  As I near the end of the semester; however, I’m beginning to understand that you really aren’t a good student if you don’t have any questions.

I’ll be writing about my adventures as a seminary student soon.  The articles will be posted on Associated Content.  I’m thinking of a title for the series.

I’m actually going to be doing a fair amount of work on my AC page.  Please visit the page and read the articles frequently!

I’ll probably write a post that more fully details the antics of the past couple of days more clearly tomorrow.  Right now, the Pepsi on my desk is calling me.  Holla!

Hello World…Again.

So, I’m back.  You’ll be seeing articles that I type of Associated Content appear on here.  i’m trying to find a way to get my other blogs posted on here as well.  I hope I do.  I know that my fans are dying to hear from me :-/.

Wisdom: Grounded in Truth

wisdom is a precious thing.  who does want to be more intelligent?  clearly the wisdom of this world has a limit.  even more obvious to the believer is that heavenly wisdom is superior.  however, i believe that their is a disconnect between what heavenly wisdom really is.

this occured to me when i read the proverbs of Solomon.  when david was training him to be king, he had a variety of ways that he could teach him.  remember, david spent prolonged periods in the presence and glory of the lord.  he minister to him as a king and a priest.  he revolutionized worship and brought forth some of the most clear revelations of the true heart of god in the old testament.

however, when it came time to teach solomon how to rule, the proverbs reveal a clue to how david went about it.  david gave solomon clear, tangible instructions.  why is this important to note?  at times, we move from being spiritual to being spooky and call it wisdom or hearing god.  INCORRECT. david could have taught solomon about the glory, fasting, miracles…and no doubt he did.  but the thing the david clearly hammered down the most is wisdom.  proverbs is laced with what it takes to be a successful ruler.  clearly prayer and surrender to god are obvious keys.  but if we miss the tangible stuff, we’ll ultimately fail.

i love miracles.  i love having and intrepreting dreams.  i love it when i can perceive that angles have walked into the room.  but there is still very basic wisdom that we need to be able to follow.

here’s the proof:  “I have spoken to you of earthly things and you do not believe; how then will you believe if I speak of heavenly things?” John 3:12

in this passage, jesus was talking to nicodemus about the kingdom of heaven.  the basic principles of how the kingdom of god are revealed by nature.  Seed time and harvest.  Seasons.  Wind blowing.  These principles are natural examples of how God’s world works.  Still, there are things and principles in the kingdom of God that have nothing on earth as an example.  jesus clearly tells nicodemus that if you don’t understand the basics, you won’t catch the higher level stuff.

that doesn’t exclude the spiritual.  WE NEED IT!  jesus’ model prayer said “your will be done, on earth is it is in heaven.”  you know the phrase, “so heavenly minded that you’re no earthly good”?  i understand the context; but i’m know inclined to assign that to being spooky.  biblically speaking it’s impossible to be too heavenly minded.  when we allow heaven to have it’s way through our lives, we become what the earth is crying for (but that’s another note altogether).  we become the gate through which needs are met and lives are restored.

look at sowing and reaping.  that’s a natural law.  when you plant needs you get a crop after it grows.  that’s a natural process that also represents a kingdom reality.  however, the law of blessing (getting the results from someone else even though you didn’t do the work) can’t be seen in sowing and reaping.  you don’t get a huge crop in your yard because the farmer down the way did a lot of work.  but if you don’t understand sowing and reaping, you’ll never understand blessing.

father, open our eyes to how your kingdom works so that we can reap the benefits of it.

Guess Who’s Back?

This poem is slightly personal for me, I guess…have fun!

Guess who’s back?

imagination’s power got me back in the sack

Entertaining delusions of grandeur in the hopes of maintaining sanity

but the reality is the images keep haunting me

Plaguing me

Begging for more

While the deepest part of me cries out in agony

Guess who’s back?

imagination’s power got me back in the sack

My eyes have their fill

The better part of of me gets ill

Sick off the scenery

Gotta let go

Gotta let go of this filth

Gotta deal with the real issues

But instead i misuse myself

As if it will help

Guess who’s back?

imagination’s power got me back in the sack

Search, load, and wait

Mentally fornicate

while the Master baits my heart

Offering peace like a dove

You’ll get through the problems with love

Guess who’s back?

imagination’s power got me back in the sack

And I’m waiting for the Son to come up…

Revelatory Ramblings…

• some recent events in my life have served for me to refocus myself on god.  the situation wasn’t His idea, but i’m glad that it caused me to see what’s really important:  Him.
• i sincerely think that i have the best parents in the world.  in a situation that can be very draining and stressful, my mother told me to stand strong in the lord.  she really encouraged me.  i was expecting to be disowned…but that’s b/c there’s some issues that i have to work out.
• i’ve been reading the book “The Way of the Wild at Heart.”  MAN!  this book has been my answer for so many things!  it talks about the process of manhood and how god fills in the gaps when the men in our lives don’t or can’t help us.  i have a Father!  i’m a beloved son!
• so…in my bible reading, i’ve discovered two cool things.  The first thing is this:  getting stuff doesn’t make you blessed.  it’s the blessing that empowers you to get stuff.  if you look at the trend in scripture, God would bless someone, and then they were told what the blessing was for.  Adam and Eve were blessed, and then they were told to rule.  Abram was blessed, and then He was told that he would be a father of nations.  Holy Spirit fell on Jesus, and then He announced that He would set the captive free.  Blessing is empowerment from God.  I believe in blessing that He actually releases His own ability into our lives!
• the other side to the bless thing is this:  you’re blessing is according to your level of favor, and you increase in favor by being like god.  Adam and Eve were blessed b/c they were in the image and likeness of God.  Abram had faith of God, so He was blessed.  as believers we all start with a certain amount of favor because we’re God’s children.  however, our character and growth determine how that favor increases.  God loves everyone, but everyone doesn’t have the same level of favor.  a parent wouldn’t (shouldn’t) give the irresponsible child the car keys, regardless of how much they are loved.  blessing is enablement.  enablement is dangerous in the hands of someone that doesn’t have the character to maintain it.  that’s why the bible says in James chapter one that a double-minded man can’t receive anything from God, b/c he’s unstable and the blessing can’t rest on Him!!

okay…my rambling is over.

Lord, Why Is My Field So Bare?

hello world.  haven’t blogged in a while.

these past few days have been interesting.  god has me on this “discovering who i am in Him” kick.  it’s cool.  it also hurts!  it hurts when the destructive patterns of your life are revealed.

recently, what i’ve learned is that i try to meet godly needs with worldy means.  i realized that some friendships that i had, even close ones, where only continued b/c of my own feelings.  my desires seemed holy enough:  godly companionship, brotherhood, mentorship, etc.  however, i reached out for them b/c i was empty on the inside…it was really all about me. it sucks to realize that you have history, time, and events with people and situations that you honestly didn’t have to.  it was all a by-product of your carnal thinking…with will ALWAYS lead you away from god.

This was all b/c of the seeds i’ve sown and that i’ve allowed to be sown during the time of sowing. but as surely as i’m sitting here, god is really giving me a word for a bunch of people out there! sidebar:  i really should write more.  the prophetic anointing really hits with more intensity when i write.

i know i’m talking to some folks out there.  when you try to grow in christ, your desires can look and sound nice…but they are really based in attitudes that don’t please god.  test your desires against the word, His spirit, and godly counsel.  and i can definitely speak confidently in god when i say this:  the lord is bringing SCISSORS to your life!  the reason why the cuts hurt so much is b/c your holding on too tight.  you’ve asked to grow, and you have.  so now, you have to be pruned so that you can bear more fruit.

do you realize that pruning comes b/c you’ve actually bore some GOOD FRUIT? if this message is speaking you to, look outside your window.  it’s fall.  the lord is telling you exactly what this season in your life is.  fall is harvest time, when farmers reap the fruit of what’s been sown prior.  the issues and circumstances that you have in your life right now are the result of the choices that you’ve sown, good or bad. the good you will reap and place into your barns, but the bad has left you bankrupt in the season when your storehouse should be filling up!

fall occurs because the earth is at a different angle in its orbit.  the sunlight isn’t direct anymore, so the temperature drops.  this causes the trees to lose their leaves.  watch what happens…all those godly attachments that aren’t suppose to be there are going to wither up and fall off…and then god will take you into a season where you will learn to rest in Him.  you’ll learn His ways which will empower you to plant good seeds the next time around.  you’ll have another chance to sow again…and to reap again.

during this time, seek the lord about the small foxes that are ruining your fruit.  ACT ON WHAT HE SAYS.  the lord wants to see your field filled with good fruit.

Comic-Con

so, i’m 25 now.

<wait for dramatic change>

nope…still the same.  a little older, a little wiser.  but still dell.  y’know, if i was really deep, i would find out what the number 25 means in the bible.  i would put it on a t-shirt and have a conference about it, too.  maybe i’ll do that when i reach 40, since i know what that means. LOL!

anyways, i went to the comic-con this weekend with omie, cherece, and marcellius.  I WAS GREAT!  I got all types of free crap…GOOD free crap (there’s a difference, you know).  and i got a lot of autographs!  the first one i got was from stuart immomen (for those of you that don’t know comics, stuart is the pencillier for ultimate spider man and he used to draw adventures of superman).  i literally gasped and pointed when i saw him.  besides that, i got john hancocks from Adam Hughes and Dan Dido.  SHWEET!!!

Random thought(s)

• $700 billion bail out?  My first question was, “whoa, we have $700 billion?”  where’d that come from?  i though we didn’t have any money.  clearly bush’s claim to fame for his term was the creation of the money tree.
• Only a little bit left to go on the transcript!!! I’m so excited!  But, I think it’s sinking in that if/when this all works out…life will be drastically different.  It will be a very fast transition…Father, get me ready.

Just Checking In…

hello world,

life been real interesting lately.  but i’m happy to say that i’m settling in.  my emotions aren’t on haywire as much.  i’m being to see what the main point of this whole life thing is.  i mean, i already knew what it was, and that’s knowing jesus better each day.  however, i’ve allowed life to snuff out my fire.

my distance learning mentor (lol), bill johnson, says that only we are responsible for keeping our fire for god burning.  maintaining our passion is solely a personal responsibility.  others can contribute, but i’m ultimate the one that has to answer.

also, i realized that i have to understand who i am in god on a constant basis, and not let the words of others pull me down.  i’m convinced that the searing words of other people are the “flaming darts of the wicked” that paul wrote about in ephesians 6.  i believe that the word put a word inside of me concerning words, their effect, and how to use them.  i’ll have to get around to unpacking it.

i had to take some time to detox myself from all the verbal poison that i ingested.  the source of the words was wrong; however, i need to learn to guard myself more.  if anything, this inspired me to write down more of the core values that i life my life by so i won’t make a fool of myself.

random thoughts

• njclass…debt…you can’t win!
• kofi!  write another note already!
• come on September 21st!
• MY BIRTHDAY IS ON WEDNESDAY!

Bounced Check…

No

I can’t

We won’t

We don’t accept your checks here

You’ve come in here before

With that checkbook filled with promises and pleasures

And it caused us peril and pain

Tried to cash that check and the banker straight up laughed

Didn’t even have enough money to catch a cab in that sad account

I’m so hurt at what I found out

The check from this relationship bounced

And it’s all your fault

Promising things you couldn’t deliver

Remember Jerome from Martin?  You were the “chicken dinner”

he was crackin’ on…

Keep telling me to trust you with that same old song

And me with this relationship check that bounced

lookin all stupid and wrong

But guess what?

It’s my fault too

Tryin’ to pay my personal bills with checks from your account

When it’s really Jesus Christ that bailed me out

Lost sight of Him in my darkness

Thought He was too far away so I reached for you

All because you showed me that stupid checkbook

Said you could fulfill the roll of brother, father, leader, mentor, friend

you signed on the memo line, you put down your pen

The check bounced

But i broke

They are still Tied…

my shoestrings are still tied…by the way.

i’ll untie them eventually.  i just want to process why they made it on my “do not interact” list.

i’ve come to realize that i’ve really blacklisted some people from my life?  what is this blacklist, you ask?  well, it is a list of people who’ve submitted numerous personal checks, usually in the form of promises.  when i go to cash them bad boys, the checks bounce! now, no one’s perfect, so that’s bound to happen in any relationship.  however, if it’s consistent…that’s a problem!  can someone say, “bounced check fee?”

the people on this list are the ones who’s checks i don’t accept.  AT ALL.  it takes me a while to get there.  i’m very trusting and forgiving.  but once i get there…MAN.  i’ll forgive you, but our interaction will probably be limited.

one thing i’m learning tho, is that you can only forgive someone to the extent that you acknowledge the hurt that you feel.  i guess i keep surprising myself b/c i realize just how hurt i was/am.

maybe i haven’t quite finished grieving yet…