Comic-Con

so, i’m 25 now.

<wait for dramatic change>

nope…still the same.  a little older, a little wiser.  but still dell.  y’know, if i was really deep, i would find out what the number 25 means in the bible.  i would put it on a t-shirt and have a conference about it, too.  maybe i’ll do that when i reach 40, since i know what that means. LOL!

anyways, i went to the comic-con this weekend with omie, cherece, and marcellius.  I WAS GREAT!  I got all types of free crap…GOOD free crap (there’s a difference, you know).  and i got a lot of autographs!  the first one i got was from stuart immomen (for those of you that don’t know comics, stuart is the pencillier for ultimate spider man and he used to draw adventures of superman).  i literally gasped and pointed when i saw him.  besides that, i got john hancocks from Adam Hughes and Dan Dido.  SHWEET!!!

Random thought(s)

• $700 billion bail out?  My first question was, “whoa, we have $700 billion?”  where’d that come from?  i though we didn’t have any money.  clearly bush’s claim to fame for his term was the creation of the money tree.
• Only a little bit left to go on the transcript!!! I’m so excited!  But, I think it’s sinking in that if/when this all works out…life will be drastically different.  It will be a very fast transition…Father, get me ready.

Just Checking In…

hello world,

life been real interesting lately.  but i’m happy to say that i’m settling in.  my emotions aren’t on haywire as much.  i’m being to see what the main point of this whole life thing is.  i mean, i already knew what it was, and that’s knowing jesus better each day.  however, i’ve allowed life to snuff out my fire.

my distance learning mentor (lol), bill johnson, says that only we are responsible for keeping our fire for god burning.  maintaining our passion is solely a personal responsibility.  others can contribute, but i’m ultimate the one that has to answer.

also, i realized that i have to understand who i am in god on a constant basis, and not let the words of others pull me down.  i’m convinced that the searing words of other people are the “flaming darts of the wicked” that paul wrote about in ephesians 6.  i believe that the word put a word inside of me concerning words, their effect, and how to use them.  i’ll have to get around to unpacking it.

i had to take some time to detox myself from all the verbal poison that i ingested.  the source of the words was wrong; however, i need to learn to guard myself more.  if anything, this inspired me to write down more of the core values that i life my life by so i won’t make a fool of myself.

random thoughts

• njclass…debt…you can’t win!
• kofi!  write another note already!
• come on September 21st!
• MY BIRTHDAY IS ON WEDNESDAY!

Bounced Check…

No

I can’t

We won’t

We don’t accept your checks here

You’ve come in here before

With that checkbook filled with promises and pleasures

And it caused us peril and pain

Tried to cash that check and the banker straight up laughed

Didn’t even have enough money to catch a cab in that sad account

I’m so hurt at what I found out

The check from this relationship bounced

And it’s all your fault

Promising things you couldn’t deliver

Remember Jerome from Martin?  You were the “chicken dinner”

he was crackin’ on…

Keep telling me to trust you with that same old song

And me with this relationship check that bounced

lookin all stupid and wrong

But guess what?

It’s my fault too

Tryin’ to pay my personal bills with checks from your account

When it’s really Jesus Christ that bailed me out

Lost sight of Him in my darkness

Thought He was too far away so I reached for you

All because you showed me that stupid checkbook

Said you could fulfill the roll of brother, father, leader, mentor, friend

you signed on the memo line, you put down your pen

The check bounced

But i broke

They are still Tied…

my shoestrings are still tied…by the way.

i’ll untie them eventually.  i just want to process why they made it on my “do not interact” list.

i’ve come to realize that i’ve really blacklisted some people from my life?  what is this blacklist, you ask?  well, it is a list of people who’ve submitted numerous personal checks, usually in the form of promises.  when i go to cash them bad boys, the checks bounce! now, no one’s perfect, so that’s bound to happen in any relationship.  however, if it’s consistent…that’s a problem!  can someone say, “bounced check fee?”

the people on this list are the ones who’s checks i don’t accept.  AT ALL.  it takes me a while to get there.  i’m very trusting and forgiving.  but once i get there…MAN.  i’ll forgive you, but our interaction will probably be limited.

one thing i’m learning tho, is that you can only forgive someone to the extent that you acknowledge the hurt that you feel.  i guess i keep surprising myself b/c i realize just how hurt i was/am.

maybe i haven’t quite finished grieving yet…

Letter to Federer

dear mr. federer,

oh, how i hope you win tonite! i really would like you to break pete’s record, and you’re already 27 so i know that you won’t be getting any younger.

i like nadal.  i really do.  however, he’ll be around after your done.  he can wait a second.  let’s shatter that record!

here’s some advice.  now, i know that you really have no reason to take my advice.  anyone that has 12 slams under their belt probably shouldn’t listen to a guy like me.  however, what i lack in skills i have in brains. so, just give me a second to voice my point.

here’s the deal.  forget about being number 1.  i know, i know.  it’s a great place to be.  however, the goal right now is to win slams.  to alter a phrase from a famous televangelist “SLAMS, SLAMS, SLAMS!”  after the US open, take some time off.  forget about challenging for the #1 ranking…let nadal have it!  rest for a few weeks and gear up for the atp finals in november.  then, get ready to make a charge for the next year.

here’s what you need to make sure is working in your game at all times:  your serve.  it was your serve that kept you alive as long as it did during the wimbledon final.  even though that didn’t turn out the way we planned, you gotta take that as a positive.  also, you gotta make those forehands.  you never used to miss those.  now, you do.   let’s fix that.

when, and i do mean WHEN, you break the record can we hit around afterwards.  it doesn’t have to be right after.  shoot, it can be years after.  just mark me down for one day at one given time.  that will make my life smile like this .

go get ‘em fed.  i’ll be rooting for you from qdoba tonite.   murray can wait a little longer for a slam as well!!

With your best interest at heart,

Verdell

(But you can call me Dell)

Back for the Third Time…

Hello fans,

sorry that i’ve been slightly (very) ghost lately. all types of stuff has been going on! i’ll update you as the days roll on.

first on the list, however, is this Stuck series that Zion Church has been going through. it’s been awesome. even though i’m not a regular attendee anymore, i still love that church and i’ve learned a lot from it. this past sunday, the message was about forgiving people and letting go. to represent the emotional bondage that unforgiveness causes, we were given a tied up shoestring at the door.

man! do i have some ties to unbind! most of them are recent too! i should’ve asked for more at the door. this one they gave me will definitely not be enough. sigh…and one of them i thought i had already forgiven…but clearly my face frowns whenever they appear. so clearly, there’s work to be done.

one thing pastor battle said that rang so true was this: your offender probably has no idea how much they’ve hurt you. i know one in particular doesn’t. they have the emotional aptitude of a brick. at some point though, you gotta accept people for who they are, not what you want them to be. that’s what god does for us, nah mean?

so…here’s some of the thoughts that i have to untie. usually, i’m not a fan of putting my personal BI out there. but, in this case i will b/c maybe you’ll find some of your voice in the words i’m venting. i encourage you to search your heart and forgive from the heart so you can experience freedom:

• are you serious? what i really want to know is are you participating in this? i trust you, probably too much, and that’s my fault. however, i wonder if you disagree with any of this? do you think it’s wrong? so much of it runs counter to what i’ve been taught…and what you’ve been taught (i think, but now i’m not so sure), and what YOU’VE taught ME. your answer will determine my next question…either way i have to forgive you…and i want to.
• i don’t think you’ll ever understand how much you’ve hurt me…sorry…how much i’ve allowed you to hurt me. i blame myself more than you…and i’ve forgiven you for the past. however, i sincerely don’t trust you as hard as i can throw (which isn’t very far, trust me). i really feel like you should reimburse me for all the time invested. however, if god called in that same debt on me, i wouldn’t be able to repay. so, i forgive you and pray the best for you.