Bounced Check…

No

I can’t

We won’t

We don’t accept your checks here

You’ve come in here before

With that checkbook filled with promises and pleasures

And it caused us peril and pain

Tried to cash that check and the banker straight up laughed

Didn’t even have enough money to catch a cab in that sad account

I’m so hurt at what I found out

The check from this relationship bounced

And it’s all your fault

Promising things you couldn’t deliver

Remember Jerome from Martin?  You were the “chicken dinner”

he was crackin’ on…

Keep telling me to trust you with that same old song

And me with this relationship check that bounced

lookin all stupid and wrong

But guess what?

It’s my fault too

Tryin’ to pay my personal bills with checks from your account

When it’s really Jesus Christ that bailed me out

Lost sight of Him in my darkness

Thought He was too far away so I reached for you

All because you showed me that stupid checkbook

Said you could fulfill the roll of brother, father, leader, mentor, friend

you signed on the memo line, you put down your pen

The check bounced

But i broke

They are still Tied…

my shoestrings are still tied…by the way.

i’ll untie them eventually.  i just want to process why they made it on my “do not interact” list.

i’ve come to realize that i’ve really blacklisted some people from my life?  what is this blacklist, you ask?  well, it is a list of people who’ve submitted numerous personal checks, usually in the form of promises.  when i go to cash them bad boys, the checks bounce! now, no one’s perfect, so that’s bound to happen in any relationship.  however, if it’s consistent…that’s a problem!  can someone say, “bounced check fee?”

the people on this list are the ones who’s checks i don’t accept.  AT ALL.  it takes me a while to get there.  i’m very trusting and forgiving.  but once i get there…MAN.  i’ll forgive you, but our interaction will probably be limited.

one thing i’m learning tho, is that you can only forgive someone to the extent that you acknowledge the hurt that you feel.  i guess i keep surprising myself b/c i realize just how hurt i was/am.

maybe i haven’t quite finished grieving yet…